So we're supposed to be friends?



In my 20s I’ve found that loyalty does not mean a damn thing to most people. There you have it. That was the absolute best sentence I could come up with for an intro into this topic.

As you all know, I dealt with a hearty amount of disloyalty in my personal life this past year, but for once this is not about that. This is about friendships, more specifically friendships between dames.
For every beautiful and faithful friend I have, I’ve got at least 3 more “so-sos“. “So-so” in the sense that I feel like I am their friend for their own personal gain.
I know, you’d think that we overcame that kind of shade after college. Really, let’s face it, with all the social networking sites around who’s to say that we aren’t still in that juvenile mentality?
That juvenile mentality entails going out and having a “blast” by taking pictures in played out body con dresses while giving the camera duck face. Oh and it also entails posting self portraits of yourself from time to time (every day or so) and validating your self worth on the “likes” you received.

What has happened? Seriously what is up?! There have been incidents where I can barely enjoy the good times taking place because my girlfriends want to act like the paparazzi are around.

*"Don’t eat your pasta, because we have to take some pictures."

*"Don’t laugh too hard, we each have to look cute because I wanna post some pictures."

*"Don’t you dare dance too hard, you’ll sweat and that’ll ruin our picture."

CHILD BOO with all that! When did you become Kim Kardashian? I don’t see your face in the tabloids so why are you faking it all?! Anddd I'm starving, I would like to eat my pasta! Isn't this why we came out in the first place?
 In short, what I’m witnessing are girls who want to be there when it is convenient or for a damn photo op. That’s the thing about friendship, you don’t get to be there when YOU want to.

What’s worse is not having your girlfriends there when you really need them, but then I guess you learn that you don’t. Well at least not ones like that. While having friends like that may be aesthetically boosting to my social networking ego, it contributes absolutely nothing to me. If there is anything that peeves me most it’s not finding reciprocation in my relationships. If you don’t want to put forth the effort I put in, kick rocks…please. Experiencing inadequacies in these relationships reminds me of why I’ve been somewhat anti-social my entire life. I don’t follow, I lead and my closest girlfriends are cut from the same cloth. Their timeless and guaranteed support is something I crave to keep within my vicinity at all times.
I’m starting to realize that could be struggling with finding their place just like I am. It seems to be this, just in a different way. Being young sometimes means wrecking your life to numb the pain. There is absolute truth in that statement. We make terribly dumb decisions in our youth, but the point is to learn from them with time. Please do not continue to walk down that “I’m a local socialite path”. That path leads to a place full of fallacies, loneliness, broken heels and 5 lbs of make-up.
Maybe my concept of friendship and love is too old-fashioned to survive in this generation.
But hey, if I'm old-fashioned then sue me *Frank Sinatra voice*.
When you need help to escape the belly of the beast nicknamed life, you want the best to be there. Hopefully they will be, just don’t take them for granted.



XOXO,

Tia