The new year is among us and I could not be more excited. I will be graduating from college in 2 weeks which means I will be free! School has transformed me into a better person but it has also hindered me. The amount of time I focus on it leaves a small fraction for me. I've become a safe and routine person. This is wonderful, but it is somewhat boring and unfulfilling. I'm sure many of you can empathize with me. For me to fully explore myself and grow in various ways I've composed my resolutions for 2011.
All work, no play. This somehow became my mantra. I didn't intend it to but it just happened. My schedule doesnt permit "fun having". If I wasn't at school, I was working, if I wasn't working I was at dance practice and if I had neither I was doing homework or catching up on sleep. I've been doing this for 3 years straight and this semester I finally cracked. It drove me into a temporary depression. I made the decision to take a month long hiatus from dance to recuperate. I felt the change immediately but without it, my life remains crammed. Vacations don't have to be extravagant, they can be tiny trips. This could be going on a weekend trip to Monterey or Santa Cruz. It must be done every once in awhile, otherwise you lose your sanity. These amongst other things are very cheap alternatives in this economy. I hope to take more mini vacations with the people I love to catch up/bond and live life while I'm young.
2. Wardrobe and Hair Experimentation
This is pretty self explanatory. I have so many amazing clothes in my closet and many of them are NEVER used. Why? I simply don't have the time to wear what I want when I want to. Fashion is something I truly enjoy. I love to shop and I love to create ifferent looks. At work I wear a uuniform and at school I'm so exhausted that I only wear sweats and sneakers. When I participate in outings that's when the real fun begins. It's such a minor thing but it is something that makes me happy.
I've struggled with lack of confidence my whole life. I'm not going to lie. I'm a a leader, I'm a bold person but the moment someone tears me down it kills me. Their comments never leave my mind and I take them really hard. This is not healthy as it has put me 2 steps back after taking 3 steps forward. To live with yourself happily you must trust yourself and your judgement. Do not look to others to properly identify yourself because no one knows you like you do. Good friends and people are very hard to find. When you do find them, keep them close and remain loyal. Your true friends and family will always be there to build you back up and offer you truth, not acquaintances. I believe my sisters words over anyone else. They tell me the truth: what I'm good at, what I need to work on, what I'm capable of, what I shouldn't have done etc. It's ok to be an aggressive and ambitious woman. It doesn't make you a bitch, people will call you that because they are uncomfortable by your very presence. I've experienced this my whole life, and when I asked one girl why people I didn't know very well were judging me unfairly she replied, "because you have a strong presence". At the time I thought this was BS, but I've came to realize it could be true and that this is not a bad thing.
CHEERS TO THE NEW YEAR!