The truth about the forgiving



   “Men forget but never forgive. Women forgive but never forget.”

A major theme as of now in my life is that of forgiveness. I've seen the women in my life come out whole through hell. The only reason being that they were strong enough to forgive and keep truckin'. Upon viewing this as a child, I viewed forgiveness as some kind of weakness. Why on earth would you forgive someone for something that damn near killed your spirit? But of course as I grew older and found myself head over heels for someone, I soon learned the importance of the F word.

 “The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.”-Gandhi

Well now here I am, out from under. Through my last few trials love has continually struck me and awakened me. Forgiving is NOT a sign of weakness it is a trait of an emotionally strong individual. When you can see past the flaws and pains that your love has inflicted upon you, you have power. Now with this, let me say that being hurt by someone who emotionally or physically abuses you does not call for a nonchalant reaction to forgive. Abuse is always unacceptable. But there are times when people get hurt in complex yet common ways in a relationship. I have forgiven the person I love I don't know how many times. Have I been forgiven for my mistakes? NO I'm sorry, I thought I was a human? Hearing and seeing my partner drown in the depths of resentment for something that is completely fixable and a non-dealbreaker has been torture.

LOVE requires forgiveness. In fact if forgiveness wasn't a true component of love it wouldn't exist. How would a relationship gain strength from not experiencing lows and hiking uphill to the top?

It wouldn't!

Alas, everyone is not the same and everyone must grow at their own pace.

However, if you struggle with pride/ego/self righteousness please know that you are drinking the poison and killing yourself, not the person who hurt you. Only for so long can you play the victim, only to find that you yourself have turned into the criminal because of your anger and inability to see beyond the negative.

Everyone gets hurt, everyone makes snap/irrational decisions at times and people do make mistakes. But the beauty in life is to find resilience in your love/relationships. To be loved unconditionally and accepted as a beautiful and loyal human is what I want. I have my eyes on the prize and I know I will get it next time around, whether it be from an old or new love. Never been one to throw in the towel, I'd rather continue hiking uphill to the top.

“The stupid neither forgive nor forget; the naive forgive and forget; the wise forgive but do not forget.”



          “Forgiveness is the oil of relationships”-Josh McDowell



     “The secret of forgiving everything is to understand nothing”

 “He who is devoid of the power to forgive, is devoid of the power to love.” -Martin Luther King

xoxo,

Tia